Love Letter to My Strong Black Woman

Dear Sis,

Have you ever felt so tired and overwhelmed as if there’s so much to do and no time for self-care, yet, somehow you still pushed through it all? That secret push of energy is what motivational speaker Brene Brown calls hitting your ‘dig deep button.’ For most of us, it’s just another day in the life of being a superwoman or strong Black woman.

For years I took pride in my ability to sacrifice my wellbeing in the name of being a ’strong Black woman.’ The more I sacrificed and pushed myself to the edge of pure burnt out exhaustion only proved I was one of the stronger Black women. In my mind, I was an unstoppable force.

But I must admit, there were days when I secretly wanted to give it all up and remove my superwoman cape. Have you ever had one of those moments? Where you dreamt it was possible to focus solely on what you want guilt-free without feeling like you must put everyone else’s needs and desires before yours?

I knew self-care was important, I’m not stupid. However, the guilt/shame of not being considered a strong Black woman or superwoman is real. So instead of taking care of me, I kept pushing my dig deep button and sacrificing my wellbeing. I pushed that button so much that eventually it broke causing a whole other set of problems, but I had no idea.

Wondering what does it look like when you’ve pushed yourself past your limits? Let’s see…

- Relying on a glass of wine, cigarettes, coffee or whatever just to get you through the day
- Too busy helping others or working to have a social life
- Often procrastinating and not being able to focus
- Life becomes cluttered and messy (figuratively and literally)
- Always exhausted no matter how much sleep you get
- Constantly stressed out, which can lead to mood shifts

Any of this sound familiar?

Let me put it another way. Basically, your battery is dead.

If you’re like me, you may let your mobile phone get down to 5%, but you’re never going to let it completely die. So why do you give yourself permission to push past 0% in the name of being a superwoman or strong Black woman? And yes, I said to give yourself permission, because self-care or making sacrifices is an intentional choice.

Like your phone, you need to plug into yourself and recharge. I encourage you to join our community or go on one of our trips, where you will gain the tools to recharge your battery so you can be stronger for yourself and those you love. But again, it is a choice you must make.

Are you ready to recharge and get back to living? Or do you want to remain almost dead?

Love,

Danielle (recovering strong Black woman)